Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Subway Pet Peeves

We ride the subway every day, and while it is a good way to get around town, there are some issues with people on the trains that drive me batty. And 2 of those issues happened to me today within about 5 minutes as I was headed home from work.

So consider this kind of a PSA about subway etiquette....I'm sure I'll be adding to it throughout the days and months, but lets start with these two.

1. I don't need to hear your conversation. Do you hear me, LaQualia (common spelling)? Here I am, sitting down, trying to listen to The All-American Rejects on my iPod, but no, I've got LaQualia complaining to her ghetto-ass friends about how Rodney was fronting on someone's sista last night outside The Quail or something...and she's gotta be nice and loud so we can all hear about her struggles with her man and how if Shaqwana (common spelling) keeps working her patience, she's gonna have to slap her "n-word face."

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!?! Shut up....shut up LaQualia. No one cares, and no one wants to hear it. Also, no one wants to look at your gold tooth, but thats a whole other complaint.

2. Since I get off work between 6 and 63opm every day, the A train is usually crowded with folks heading home and its very hard to get a seat as we make our way up town. I get on at 59th Street..the stops that follow are 125th, 145th, 168th, 175th, 181st, 190th, 200th, and finally 207th, where I get off. So when I get on the train, I usually go stand in the middle and angle myself to where I will be able to get a seat after the first couple of stops.

Now I like to think my mother raised me right, and 99.9 percent of the time if there's someone also waiting for the seat that probably could use it more than I, I'm more than happy to cede it to them. I'll even get up from my chair if someone who needs a seat gets on after I've snagged one.

But here's the deal. Here's who, in my mind, deserves a seat more than me after a hard day's work.

1. an elderly person

2. a pregnant woman

3. a child under the age of 6 who wants to sit next to their parent

That's it. That's the list. And I'll tell you, I've had many a daggering glance thrown at me by young women after I've stepped in front of them or around them to grab a seat instead of them.

Here's the deal ladies, and I mean this in the best way possible. I have all the respect in the world for you. I believe in your right to equal pay. Your right to bear a child, or abort one. You should be treated like a man.

And since I feel you are equal to men, you are genderless in my eyes, therefore, if I get the seat and you don't.....tough shit. Better luck next time. And save me the dirty looks. It's not my fault you weren't quick enough to step around the homeless guy and snag the seat next to the old woman who went crazy with the perfume today and looks as if Protestantism is springing from her womb. You should always get the seat before me. I'm overweight and have a terrible sense of balance sometimes. I'm several small steps away from being about as coordinated as Corky from Life Goes On. So what does that say about your seat-snagging skills that I got the chair?

Back to the drawing board for you, LaQualia (common spelling)



Monday, April 20, 2009

April Showers...

...bring more blog posts.

Its pouring rain here day after it was 75 degrees. Christ I hate the East Coast for spring. Its just a never knowing game of "what's it gonna be like today" Though I shouldn't complain, cause we're only about six weeks away from "f'in' stinkin' hot and humid." So I take it all back.

We've had lots go on since the last posting...i.e. since Wake Forest got dumped in the NCAA Tourney and I gleefully poked fun at Katie Neal (though I think she got the last laugh by posting pictures of my pathetic attempt at an Eiffel Tower during a mean game of Cranium...I thought those pictures had been lost for eternity...darn it all)

Anyways, lets start with Sister Jen's visit several weeks back. Jen came out for a few days, and while we didn't hit it too hard, we managed to pack in more than enough stuff to do.

We started by going to see Exit the King on Broadway with Geoffrey Rush and Susan Sarandon. It was really good, and Sister Jen managed to stay awake for it despite getting minimal sleep on the plane and the night before, considering we dragged her there just 2 hours after she got to our house.

In fact, I was the one who managed to fall asleep on the way home.

Funny thing about that we were walking back to the train, we saw a large gathering of people waiting outside a hotel in Midtown for something. We thought it was the auditions for "America's Got Talent," so we walked over to see what was going on...Jen said she saw smoke coming from somewhere, and then all these people started screaming and running. We thought they must have seen someone famous, so we said "whatever" and walked away. The next day we learned it was the auditions for "America's Next Top Model," someone had seen a smoking car and yelled "bomb!" and then there were hundreds of high-heeled models dashing for cover.

Sister Jen got introduced to our friends James, Laura and Andy, and their friend Rob was in town as well, so a large group of us went out to dinner, and then we ALL got introduced to the movie Andy starred in when he was in college. It was a college project and it is, without a doubt, a mind trip. I plan to show it to everyone who shows up here to visit now. Its that good.

Anyways, Andy was a good sport about it.

Jen also decided to go crazy and get some rice pudding one night. I don't know can my wife like rice pudding? It looks awful, it has the consistency of maggots in pudding...its just wrong. Anyways, she liked it...c'est la vie.

We also took in the Letterman show, got some good pizza at Lombardi's, Sister Jen and I caught "The Daily Show" one day, The Jen's got some Century 21 shopping in, all in all, a great visit from Sister Jen!!

A few days after that, Jen and I went to the Kings-Knicks game at MSG. I can't name more than 4 Kings players these days, and Jen was lucky to name one (Kevin Martin). We decided it would be fun to go to, despite my paying attention to the NBA these days involves my one fantasy basketball league, which I somehow managed to win actually, so while I knew the Kings were God-awful these days, I didn't think they could be much worse than the Knicks, who are really really mediocre.

Somehow the Kings raced out to a 15-zip lead, were up by like 37 points at one point, one won by 27. Unbelievable?! This is the team that had the worst record in the NBA? Really? The Kings looked like world-beaters. Hopefully the team is much better next season.

Anyways, Jen's favorite part of the game was watching Anthony Anderson from Law and Order sitting front row doing Michael Jackson dances during timeouts late in the game. Spinning on his head and everything. Sadly, no shots of that, but here's a couple from The Garden.

We've also managed to keep exploring new neighborhoods. Grabbed some dinner with my co-worker Jen and her boyfriend Jon and other co-worker Jim and his wife Heidi in Jen's neighborhood of Hoboken. Actually found some good Mexican food there.

Also took time to go to Queens to meet up with Jen's co-worker Mario, his wife Michelle, and their newborn daughter Mia.

Finally, loyal blog readers know that Jen and I play trivia at the Piper's Kilt, our local bar in the hood, on Tuesday nights. This season we joined up with James, Laura, Andy, and fellow friends Jon, Liz and Nick to form the team "Impeach Mayor McCheese." We'd been finishing middle of the pack or so, but Mike Bowe (the bar director who runs the trivia night) is a good friend of ours, and he asked me to host the trivia night one night.

To be the host at trivia night, you have to be funny, charming and amusing, all while keeping it fun, but also keeping it moving. You have to be able to think on your feet. Sadly, I am non of these, but I am a ham, so I ended up doing it, and it was a lot of fun. And amazingly, "Impeach Mayor McCheese" actually came in first place that night! I know....unbelievable. You would think we were working out of the Katie Neal authored "It Aint' Cheatin' If You Don't Get Caught" rulebook, but I actually didn't help them cheat...though I did give Jen one answer.. =)

Besides my team made more fun of me hosting then anybody else! They, like me, are a bunch of smart-asses, and apparently Laura had made signs up earlier in the day to heckle me with. Five of them in big bold letters...I wish I had them still, but they read,





and of course...


(in reference to the famous misled radio incident on 1240 in Sac)

All in good fun, I suppose...I can't wait for them to host something.... ;)

Mike Bowe and the host

Some of my "McCheese" team and their MEAN signs!

Anyways, there's been other stuff that either didn't warrant pictures at the time, or I'm forgetting (which is more likely the case). We had a great time in California and Jen or I will get that blog done soon....but tomorrow begins the unpacking...our stuff arrives from California tomorrow, and we're super excited. Expect a blog posting over the weekend regarding our trip, and then one more when we get everything set up in our apartment and such!!